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Parenting Tips



ParentingTips


Contents :-



Babies


Child development




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• Remember the sequence in which your child reaches milestones is much more important than the age.
• Children usually grow in a fairly predictable way but the range of what is considered normal is broad. If you are worried about your child's development check with your doctor or child health nurse.
• Learning to understand the world, being imaginative, expressing feelings, coordinating the body and being with others, are all related - and all are as important as each other.


Health & Nutrition


1. The health of both women and children can be significantly improved by spacing births at least two years apart by avoiding pregnancies before the age of 18 , and by limiting the total number of pregnancies to three or less .
2. To reduce the danger of child bearing , all pregnant women should go to a health worker for pre-natal care and all births should be assisted by a trained midwife.
3. For the first few months of a baby's life , breast milk alone is the best possible food and drink .Infants need other foods , in addition to breast milk , when they are four to six months old.

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4. Children under three have special feeding needs . They need to eat 5 to 6 times a day and their food should be specially enriched by adding mashed vegetables and small amounts of fats or oils.
5. Diarrhoea , can kill by draining too much liquid from a child's body . So the liquid lost each time the child passes a watery stool must be replaced by giving the child plenty of the right liquids to drink- breast milk , home - based fluids such as dal water , rice water butter milk etc. or a special drink called ORS . If the illness is more serious than usual , the child needs help from a health worker and the special ORS drink . A child with Diarrhoea also needs food to make a good recovery .
6. Immunization protects against several diseases which can cause poor growth , disability , and death .All immunization should be completed in the first year of the child's life and a booster given at one and half years . Every woman of child bearing age should be immunized against tetanus .
7. Most coughs and colds will get better on their own . But if a child with a cough is breathing much more rapidly than normal then the child is seriously ill and it is essential to go to a health centre quickly . A child with a cough or cold should be helped to eat and to drink plenty of liquids.
8. Many illness are caused because germs enter the mouth . This can be prevented by using proper latrines ; by washing hands with soap and water after using the latrine and before handling food ; by keeping food and water clean ; and by boiling drinking water if it is not from a safe piped supply.
9. Illness hold back a child's growth . After an illness , a child needs an extra meal every day for a few days to make up the growth lost .
10. Children from birth to three years should be weighed regularly every month for the first year and at least every alternate month thereafter . If there is no gain in weight for two months , something is wrong .

Nutrition

1. Start breast feeding within one hour of delivery . Colostrums ( Mother's first milk , light yellowish thick fluid ) is rich in protein , vitamin "A" and has anti -infective properties . It is the infant first immunization.
2. Feed exclusively mother's milk for the first four to six months of life. No need of any supplement or fluids (not even water) during this period.
3. Start feeding semi-solids , preferably home made after 4-6 months. Continue breast feeding .

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4. Continue breast feeding well into the second year .
5. Give food 5-6 times a day to young children .
6. Give more of pulses , groundnuts , milk and milk products in the daily diet of children.
7. Include a variety of food stuffs in daily diet , as a mixed diet is more nutritious.
8. Get your child immunized timely.
9. Do not allows flies to touch foods.
10. Keep your surroundings clean.
11. Maintain personal hygiene.
12. When your child has Diarrhoea or vomiting , give him/her extra water in the form of ORS , cooked pulse water , thick soup etc.
13. Women must take extra food to meet the additional requirement during pregnancy and lactation.
14. Consume green leafy vegetables daily in one or other form.
15. Take daily some raw vegetables in your diet like radish , leafy vegetable, chutney , onion , carrot , tomatoes , cucumber , lemon etc.
16. Use whole wheat flour (unsieved) for preparing chapaties puris etc.
17. Cook rice in just sufficient water to avoid discarding of cooked rice water which drains out nutrients.
18. Do not wash vegetables after cutting and also do not remove thick peels.


Sleeping


• Parents of new babies often feel exhausted, with never enough sleep. Hang in there! It does get better.
• New babies don't have regular sleep patterns. Some sleep nearly all day, others for only short periods.

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• Try and grab some rest when baby is sleeping.
• All babies are born with different sleep needs. A few babies will sleep through the night but many will wake regularly.


Crying


• All babies cry. Crying is how they tell you what they need - perhaps they are hungry, lonely or in pain.
• Newborn babies usually stop crying after they've been fed. You will gradually learn what your baby's cries mean.
• If babies are in pain they usually cry sharply and loudly.

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• Try and grab some rest when baby is sleeping.
• All babies are born with different sleep needs. A few babies will sleep through the night but many will wake regularly.
• It is difficult for parents when babies cry in pain and they can't find the problem.
• No one likes to hear a baby cry. It can be so upsetting that you want to cry too. If it all gets too much for you, get help.


Talking with baby


Before babies can talk they have a lot to learn

• They learn that a word has a meaning.
• A word is made of sounds.
• Sounds are made with the mouth.
• The way you hold your mouth, teeth and tongue affect the sounds you make.
• Babies have to put all this together to make a sound someone will understand!

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• Words are our way of telling people what we want and need. The more words your child has, the less need there will be to cry, shout and squeal. It is frustrating not to be able to express feelings.
• Babies usually understand more than they can say.
• Words help children communicate and share activities with other people. They help us share thoughts and ideas.
• At first babies only understand the tone of your voice and the feeling it gives them. Soon they understand words like 'mum', 'dad', 'hug', 'no!', 'yes'.

You can help your baby learn to talk by:

• playing sound games; for example say 'Bah!' when your baby says 'Bah!'
• pretending to understand what your baby is trying to say; for example when baby says 'Bah!' you might ask 'Blanket? Do you want your blanket?'
• playing simple games like peek a boo, which babies love, where you cover your face with your hands, then drop them and say 'Boo!'
• touching and naming body parts - 'baby's mouth, mummy's mouth', 'baby's nose', mummy's nose'
• using baby's name in all kinds of activities
• talking about what you are doing with and for your baby
• having 'conversations' where you take turns to make sounds
• singing songs and saying nursery rhymes.


Playing


• Babies learn to understand their world by playing. When babies play they explore and discover what's around them and what they can do.
• Babies play by looking, touching, tasting, smelling and hearing everything that goes on around them.

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• Make sure your baby can't reach things that are dangerous. Babies, at the stage of grasping and holding objects, try to put everything into their mouths. Don't worry, this is normal - they learn through taste and touch. Give your baby safe, large things they can taste and chew but not swallow. Clean toys regularly.
• Playing with babies is a fun part of being a parent.
• When older babies crawl they need plenty of space so they don't knock into things. You'll need to keep an eye on them because they can move quickly.
• A lot of time is spent each day nappy changing, bathing and feeding. Make these everyday tasks fun by playing, talking and singing to your baby while you do them.
• Parents are the best playmates babies have! Babies will play if they feel safe and are given encouragement.


Protection


Protecting the Child from Injuries

1. Parents should keep an eye on the child's activities and also have knowledge about the mechanism of all the toys with which it plays .
2. The interior decoration of the house should be done in such a way that the child does have any difficulty to move around freely.

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3. All the belongings of the child specially its toys should be kept within his reach so that it does not have to climb or make any kind of special efforts to get it which further might cause any injury to the child.
4. All the furniture should have rounded corners and edges.
5. Children should not be allowed to go on roads all alone unless or until the parents are quite sure that they will be able to save themselves from the rashly driven vehicles.
6. They should be kept away from the fire and also precaution should be taken while handling electronics/electrical goods.
7. However , while protecting a child from all the above mentioned dangers the parents should always bear in mind not to be over cautious and over protective towards the child which in the long run, proves to be harmful for the child as over protection makes a child very much dependent and prevents him from being adventurous.


Pre-schooler’s


Overview


• Children aged three to five years are all different in what they can do and what interests them but they all develop along a common path.
• This age is a time of growing independence and learning - to use their bodies, talk, understand and make things. They are busy, active people.
• At this age children's minds are like sponges. By the time they go to school they will have formed their own personality and ideas about life and learning.

Most children of this age:

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• learn through their senses, like to smell, touch, taste, see and feel things • can hold a conversation with you
• form ideas about how the world works
• are curious about everything
• need to move
• want the company of other children
• are interested in others
• like to make things
• play games with friends
• want to know how to look after themselves
• like to join in and do what you do
• revert back to toddler like behaviour (thumb sucking, crying, hitting, baby talk) when they are shy or upset, especially in new situations.
• Many children of this age like to go to child care, play group, kindergym or kindergarten/preschool.


Eating


• Preschoolers are curious about the world but sometimes suspicious of different foods. They will eat different amounts, at different times and in different ways.

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• Eating is about how, what, when and why we eat. Meal times can be a sharing time for families, helping each other to foods and learning about nutrition and table manners. • You should decide the best way for your family to have meals and then establish this as a routine. For example, do you sit down together, have the television on and what manners are acceptable?
• Different families eat different things and children learn to like most of the foods their family eats.
• Preschoolers may go through a 'fussy' time. Most children like sweet things and some children are allergic to certain foods.
• Some vegetables are often disliked so try alternatives rather than forcing them to eat what they don't like. Tell them taste buds change as they grow. Suggest they might like to try the disliked food again in a year - they may then find they like it.


Bedtime routines


Different families have different bedtime routines. What time children go to bed and how they do it depends on:

• the age of the children
• the family's routines
• the family's culture.

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• Some children go to sleep easily and happily, some don't and this can be for a whole range of reasons.
• Preschool children need long, uninterrupted sleeps - about 10 hours a night is common.
• A bedtime routine helps children relax. Dinner, bath time, stories and a special, quiet time with parents are all parts of a routine. Have a drink or food an hour or so before bed if necessary and a last trip to the toilet before being tucked in.
• Many preschoolers are ready for bed around seven o'clock. A consistent bed time is important and leaves you time for yourself or for the rest of your family.


Values


• Children are not born knowing what is acceptable and unacceptable. They watch how you behave and how you treat them and others.
• By visiting other people and their homes children discover that different people have different rules and views. Making them aware of these different beliefs and values and how these relate to your own can be a good idea.
• In the end children decide their own standards of behavior. These develop from:
   • adult approval and disapproval of behavior
   • growing self control
   • being aware of other people's feelings
   • wanting to be like their parents
   • a growing understanding and use of words
   • understanding cause and effect
   • learning what behavior is allowed in the family
   • Family conversations.
• By about the age of seven most people expect children to know what is acceptable and what isn't and to act accordingly.
• You can be a model for your children by discussing and living according to your own beliefs and values. But remember, children grow and their views may change with age and experience.


Talking


• Preschoolers are learning about words and meanings. Their language development happens in bursts.
• They like to play and experiment with words and they need time to use and practice both.

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• Talking about things the preschooler can see, touch, taste, smell and feel will help them connect words to real things.
• You can be a model for your children by discussing and living according to your own beliefs and values. But remember, children grow and their views may change with age and experience.

• Talking involves many skills like:
   • paying attention to the speaker and listening to the words
   • understanding what has been said
   • thinking about an appropriate response
   • forming words and saying them
   • waiting and checking that the other person has understood.
   • We do many of these things automatically, without thinking about them. Breaking down these skills into smaller steps can help.

For example to help a child listen you can:
   • say 'listen now'
   • get down to their height so their face is level with yours
   • stop, look and listen to them when they talk to you.

• To help them understand you can:
   • get them to tell you in their own words what you said
   • keep your sentences short
   • use the word 'like': 'It is like ....'
   • help them remember past things: 'What does it remind you of?'

• To help them give an appropriate response you can:
   • wait and give them time to answer
   • smile, nod and give them encouraging signals
   • say 'I'm listening'.

• To help them with their speech you can:
   • speak clearly
   • repeat back to them what they have said.

• To help them wait for a response you can:
   • say 'Wait while I think about my answer'
   • slow down your speech.
   • If you are worried about your child's progress check with your doctor or child care professional.


Next stop school


• Before children go to school they have learned many things which give them a good start.

• To give your child a good start make sure you:

• talk with them so they learn how people take turns to speak and listen
• listen to them and let them know they have good ideas
• read with them so they learn how to hold a book, which way the words go on the page, that letters make up sounds and words and that there are many reasons why people read
• take them on walks around the streets, to meet their friends and to know their community
• encourage children to play with others so they learn to share, take turns and play games.
• Children in Western Australia go to school in the year they turn six. Most children will have had other group experiences before this.

• Children are ready for school when they:

• are happy for you to leave, although sometimes they may cry
• are confident when you aren't around
• will cooperate with other adults
• have had social experiences with other children
• remember simple instructions and follow them through
• will ask for help if they need it
• can go a whole day without a morning or afternoon sleep
• can dress and undress with ease
• like to join in
• can cope with structure
• can organize basic things for themselves.
• You are your child's first teacher. The way you feel about school will affect how they feel. Try to keep positive and hopefully they will feel positive about school too.


Primary schooler’s


overview


• Children usually go to primary school between six and 12 years of age. This is when they build on, and improve, their previously learned skills. They make friends and are interested in the world around them.

• They are becoming independent and enjoy responsibilities and challenges they can manage.

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• Their social skills are improving. They often enjoy playing with small groups of three or four children.
• Their physical skills are are improving. They may be very interested in several kinds of activities.
• They begin to develop hobbies and specials interests and learn a lot this way.
• They enjoy helping at home and doing family things like going on picnics and visiting relatives.
• Often children in this age group can develop one or two special friends of the same sex. Friendships with people of other ages and sex are also important to them. They like learning about their neighbourhood and may be particularly fond of a pet animal.
• Activities such as cooking, bike riding, cubbies, lego, reading, TV, sport, chasey and making things are all popular. Many of these things are fun to do together.
• Children learn and develop at different rates, try not to compare children and/or siblings.


Friends


• School can be a bewildering and lonely place for a child.
• Each child likes to belong to a social group. Friends are very important because they provide support and encouragement during school.
• Encourage your children to invite friends home.

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• Making and keeping friends is a skill children usually learn during their preschool years. They know how to introduce themselves, enjoy playing, can join groups, take turns in talking, share and seek out friends. They'll also have some skills in solving problems.
• Younger primary school children base their friendships on helping and sharing.
• Older children develop longer lasting friendships which are based on trust and loyalty.
• Children will have short and longer friendships.
• School friendships can be very strong because children see each other daily for several years.
• Some families may move frequently or live a long distance from the school and this can make it difficult for children to have friendships.

• You can help your children's friendships grow and endure by:
• actively listening to your child without trying to solve their problems
• helping them with practical things like transport, phone calls and making visiting arrangements
• taking an interest in your child's friends and getting to know them
• spending time with your child and their friends
• giving them safe spaces to do things on their own
• finding out interesting things for them to do and experience and suggesting different ways to think about problems
• remaining non judgmental.


Learning difficulties


• Children achieve in many ways.

• Some children:
   • speak well
   • can tell you about their thoughts and feelings
   • imagine well
   • solve problems
   • think things through
   • are very aware of other people and can work well in groups.

• Sometimes children seem very bright and can talk well but are not very good with numbers and logical thinking. Or they may read badly but be very good at sports. Try to focus on things children do well.

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• Underachieving means a child isn't doing well in something they are normally good at.

• Below are some of the reasons children don't do well:

• They're stressed because everyone expects them to do well.
• They want to show they can make their own decisions.
• They want to show they are different from their brothers or sisters.
• They want to be accepted by friends.
• They want to show they are like their friends.
• They don't want to be teased.
• They are distracted by family problems, friendships or another interest.
• They find a new task difficult when usually they have found learning easy. It's hard for a child who is good at learning to suddenly have trouble with it.
• They don't check their work.
• The health and wellbeing of the child may be affected.
• Feeling useless in some areas often makes them feel they are not good at anything.


Sports & game


• Physical play and games help children improve their coordination and balance.
• Children develop healthy habits by being physically active everyday. This also helps their future health.
• Young children gain confidence through sport and physical activity.
• Physical games are different to organised sport. Organised sport usually requires training and practice. There are rules, teamwork, commitment, competition, winning and losing.

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• Some children don't like organized sport but there are other things they can enjoy such as:

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   • bike riding
   • playing in the waves at the beach
   • bush and nature walks
   • hopscotch
   • bouncing on a trampoline
   • swinging
   • climbing trees
   • digging in the garden
   • made up games with friends
   • picnic cricket, rounder.

• Play should be fun.
• Appreciate all children's efforts when trying something new.
• Be honest with yourself about the child's level of skill, maturity and ability.
• Never compare your child with a friend or sibling.


Physical development


• Between the ages of six and 12 children grow in height while their body proportions stay the same. This is different from babyhood and adolescence where dramatic physical development occurs.
• Children get their second teeth between five and seven years of age.
• School children need and like lots of physical activities. This is the time they develop organised sport skills. They also enjoy rough and tumble play and group activities such as chasey and ball games. They are lively and loud as they play.
• They are more coordinated and their finger and hand skills develop as they get older. They are now able to learn a musical instrument, do fine hand work such as sewing or model making and enjoy simple dressmaking and cooking.

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• Children of this age let off steam by being physical. Make sure there's a balance between play and sport. Some children will need extra support and encouragement.
• Feeling good about their bodies and physical skills is very important for your child's self image. If you are concerned about your child speak to the teacher, a physiotherapist or doctor.
• It's important that the primary schooler has a nutritionally balanced diet so their best physical and motor development can be achieved.
• During the seven years of primary school, children will refine and modify skills such as running, climbing, galloping and hopping. They will learn how to skip, how to throw, catch and kick a ball and catch a ball with more dexterity.
• From middle primary onwards, particularly in girls, early signs of puberty can occur.


Encouragement


Will power


Perhaps the most important ingredient for success is a strong will power i.e. the power to control ones impulses and actions and not to give up in the face of difficulty. Beethoven turned deaf but he did not surrender to his fate : he struggled and made a resounding success of his life by his indomitable spirit. One is not necessarily born with his spirit ; it is a skill which can be sharpened by practice. People who indulge in vices like excessive drinking, gambling and taking drugs sometimes wish to stop but can not because they lack in will power. It can be built up gradually by resisting temptations. Children can begin by refusing to see a movie or a favorite TV program for a week : they can refrain from indulging in gossip or criticizing somebody for ten days. Setting deadlines for achieving a particular target, say reducing one's weight by 2 Kgs within one month, would help tremendously. Writing your specific goal would go a long way in developing a will power. By saying that, "I am going to study more" would not be of use but deciding to study to study for 2 hours a day is indicative of definiteness

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• Children should be allowed to succumb to peer pressure : They should follow their own beliefs. Let them tell themselves that they are good. Self esteem and positive feeling about oneself spur people to excel. So a child's concept of self should never be trampled upon. Let boys and girls feel that they belong to a respectable family, a good community, a good school and a great country. it gives them the will power to overcome their moments of weakness.

Communication

Kids ought to know that we communicate in many ways : orally, in writing, through body language, not doing something which is expected, silence, tone, pitch, eye contact and so on. The way we sit, stand, walk or talk, all speak of our personality, confidence and character. Children should fully grasp that clear and precise speaking presupposes clear thinking crystallized ideas. Therefore children should be made to practice communication skills in all possible ways.

Training In Childhood

Encourage your ward to take on responsibility in early days. Whatever position is offered to your child ( say Monitor of the class, a perfect, Captain of a team, secretary of a club or society, participation in debates, dances, comparing a program, taking parts in dramas etc.) should be voluntarily accepted by children for getting trained, besides assisting them in developing and sharpening their talents. There are thousands of situations where responsibility can be undertaken and the qualities needed for a successful life honed. At home parents can provide an opportunity to their children to express their views fearlessly in family matters. They could be asked to initiate discussion. They can be given the responsibility of soliciting the opinion of other family members and then either take a decision or bring about a consensus. Inspiring stories of great men to their progeny: tell them how they achieved greatness. Inspiring stories quotations, parables, anecdotes, examples of tenacious, adventurous people go a long way in instilling the spirit of success. Great players, musicians, artists, inventors, and authors have all climbed the ladder of success by constant practice.

Hard Work

This brings us to the fact that rarely do we achieve something without hard work and sacrifice. Spectacular achievers can be distinguished from low achievers because they focused more on what they wanted to achieve and worked towards it with full commitment and enthusiasm. They applied their energies to their strengths with total dedication and relentlessness.

Enthusiasm

Let children be enthusiastic about what they are doing. They should think, talk and dream about it. Enthusiasm helps one to do a great deal of work without fatigue. Those who achieve success are always full of fired . The spark is there in most of the youths : we as parents have only to ignite it. The process may be slow but surely it is possible. So allow your child to dream the impossible, for if there is no dream there will be nothing for him to achieve! Remember the winner's podium is for those who seek it and try for it.


Motivate your child


1. Talk with your child about what you're reading: Share interesting newspaper and magazine articles, point out beautiful words from books and introduce new vocabulary.
2. Provide a good selection of books for your child so that he or she can always find one of interest.
3. Have your child pick out books in addition to the ones you choose.

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4. Discuss the books with your child as he or she reads them. Ask questions about themes, characters and how the story might relate to real life.
5. Help your child build confidence by allowing him or her to reread a book several times.
6. Reward your child for reading new books.

Prepare your child for the First Day of School

1. Begin preparing your child a few weeks before the big day (sooner, if this is his or her first school experience or a new school). If your household has relaxed bedtime and morning routines over the summer months, start to wake your child a little earlier each morning, and move bedtime up 15 minutes every few nights to re-establish "school hours."
2. Plan a "back-to-school" shopping day with each child individually, and make it a special event. Of course, you'll set (and try to stick to) a general budget, but leave some room for one or two small extravagances (reuse last year's backpack, but buy this year's hottest cartoon-character notebook).
3. Before the big clothes-shopping trip, spend some time with each child sorting through last year's things and decide together what goes into which pile (keeper, hand-me-down or donate). Insist that your child try on every keeper.
4. For a new year in a new school, plan a visit there a week or so before the first day. Walk through the building locating the classrooms, bathrooms and lunchroom.
5. If your child will be riding the bus, find out the route he or she will take and take a drive on it together a few times. If he or she is a walker, plan the route and walk it together both ways.
6. Help your child deal with first-day jitters by focusing on some special advantage of, for example, being a fourth-grader. Perhaps your child is now old enough for his or her own house key, an increase in allowance or some other new privilege.
7. Celebrate the big day. Go out for dinner or plan a special meal the night before, or present your child with a small gift.


Teen


Help for find job


1. Sit down together and assess skills, expectations and requirements, just as you would do for yourself.

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2. Discuss options, taking into account your teen's time availability and transportation needs.
3. Think creatively: If your daughter wants to be a tennis star, maybe she can work at the local tennis club. Or your wannabe reporter can call local newspapers and radio stations for an intern position.
4. Help your teen create a résumé, even if this is her first working experience. A teen résumé can include academic and extracurricular information and can mention awards, honors and relevant skills and interests.
5. Role-play with your teen. Listen to her ask for the job and describe her strengths, and coach her on what she should say in response to questions the interviewer may pose.
6. Make a list of possible contacts, including both yours and your child's.
7. Get phone numbers and encourage the teen to call for job possibilities.
8. Once your teen has applied for a job, encourage her to make a follow-up call if the management doesn't respond within a week.


Encourage Good Study Habits


As with any habit (good or bad), the sooner good study habits are developed, the better they will stick. It's never too early to introduce your child to positive study habits, which will reward his or her efforts throughout school and life.

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Steps:

Be a good role model. If you sometimes bring work home with you or you're taking a course yourself, your child will learn your habits. Make them good!
Help your child organize things. For example, the protractor and compass belong to the math binder, sheet music in the violin case.
Help him or her organize space. The kitchen table is for eating; your child's desk is for studying.
Help your child organize time. Establish a routine for completing schoolwork. It doesn't have to be the minute your child walks in the door; just agree on a set time and stick to it.
Minimize distractions. Thirteen-year-old wisdom notwithstanding, geometric proofs are not better retained when learned concurrently with loud music, "South Park" and a telephone receiver at one ear.
Check your child's work. Every night is unnecessary, but check it often enough that he or she knows you might - and that you care.
Insist that sloppy or careless work be redone, but don't correct errors; teachers need to know what students don't know.
Give praise whenever possible and appropriate. A sincere expression of pride in your child's academic accomplishments can go a long way toward making studying a habit.


Parents


Overview


• Discipline isn't just about punishment.
• People have many concerns about bringing up children in the right way.

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• Everyone wants their children to:

   • care about others
   • care about the world
   • be interested in others
   • be kind, thoughtful and considerate
   • behave appropriately.
• Some people think children can be spoiled by being given lots of attention. But giving children lots of love and attention means they will be happy and content with good self esteem.
• Children are not naturally naughty. They usually respond to sensible, honest comments which help them understand their behaviour.


Family communication


• Communication is about talking and listening, sharing interests, solving problems, talking about our experiences, expressing feelings, explaining what we need and want and telling stories. When you talk with your family it helps to remember that they are people and not just partners, children and parents.

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• Everyone has negative times. How we deal with them is what counts. Using too much sarcasm, teasing, name calling, shaming, nagging, threats, blame or any form of physical violence makes you feel bad about yourself - not to mention everyone else.

• You can speak and listen to others better by:

• really listening to what people say and mean
• trying to understand each other
• being aware of your own feelings
• trying to understand other points of view
• speaking in ways which make sense to others
• trying to match tone and words
• thinking about other people's feelings
• being clear about what you expect and expect the best
• keeping your sense of humor
• solving problems together
• discussing choices
• knowing what responsibilities are appropriate for your child at different ages
• talking about things other people try to do and things they are better at
• helping children say how they are feeling
• making some family rules, eg, people are not for hitting or hurting
• asking others how they spent their day
• spending time with children talking, playing a game, reading a story, listening to a record.

As a parent you can -

• Give him the courage to be imperfect.
• Base your comments on the effort being made and not on the result.
• Encourage your child to TRY.
• Remind him that everyone makes mistakes and that nobody is perfect.
• Don't rush him into any activity.
• Don't compare him with other children.
• Don't be critical - be supportive


Guiding Your Children to a Good Future


Consider this scenario. You are a middle aged executive fairly settled in your job and leading a comfortable family life. Your children have become teenagers and are on the verge of finishing high school. Now you and your spouse will encounter a crucial question: What sort of higher studies and subsequently a career will your children get into? Given the present day condition of cut throat competition and limited availability of seats in the most sought after fields, anxiety and worries are bound to grip the parents of would- be high- school graduates. The more children you have, the greater is your discomfiture.

ParentingTips26

Since the lives of parents are intricately interwoven with that of their offsprings, they are by far the best advisors for their children, provided of course that they are moderately educated. But unfortunately, due to social pressures and the raging spirit of rivalry, even highly educated and professionally successful parents come down very harshly on their children. By adopting unkind psychological methods like taunting, threatening and bullying, they compel their children to take up what they (the parents) want them (the children) to.

It follows as a natural corollary that doctors' children end up as doctors, scientists' children as scientists, businessmen's kids as businessmen and so forth. This is the general trend in India, at least. On their part, the children are reluctant to oppose their parents or break into revolt, to avoid domestic tensions and save face in public.
But this use of coercion by the parents and guardians often takes a heavy toll of the students' mental and emotional stability. Forced into a strange sphere against their wishes, they either fail to perform or perform miserably and in the process invite further sarcasm or ridicule from their parents, peers, acquaintances and so forth.
To get out of this uncomfortable situation, you as parents need to adopt a considerate and sympathetic attitude towards your wards.

Some suggestions as to how to cope with the career problems of children are outlined below:

First and foremost you must realise that each child is an individual as distinct from the others. Each child has certain innate qualities, latent abilities and talents, which need to be honed and chiselled over the years in order to bring out the best in him or her. Therefore, even when you watch your child growing up along with your neighbour's children, sharing their ideas and tastes, you must bear in mind that his/her needs are still unique.
By the time a child is 7 - 8 years of age, his/her likes and dislikes, predilections and weaknesses begin to emerge clearly. It would be important to keep a track of these when the child enters teenage and is about to choose his /her future career. Just because Mr X's daughter is good in mathematics or Mrs Y's son is good in Physics, and your child is not, does not mean he/she is stupid or dull. Why, he/she may be good in music/ geography/ English/ needlework/ painting? It becomes your duty therefore, to help him mould a decent career out of the things he/she is good at.
Never chide or admonish your child in front of others. More particularly so when he/she has metamorphosed into an adolescent or teenager. Doing so will hurt his/her ego and shatter his/her self-confidence. He/she will end up doing far more badly in his forthcoming tests or examinations.



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